The price you pay for bringing someone pain
by 1MIKITAFANFORLIFE
Summary: Right after 3x17 Chuck begins to realize the price he payed, for betraying Blair.


Hello Fanfiction World, I've been reading fan fiction for a while now and thought I should give it a try myself so here I go. This is a one shot

This one shot is from 3x17. I wrote it after I saw the episode and was heart broken for what Chuck did. This was my way of getting it out.

**Disclaimer- no sadly I don't own gossip girl the CW and Cecily von Ziegeasr does. If I did Chuck and Blair would be together and 3x17 would have never happened like that. **

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The price you pay for bringing someone pain

Chuck Bass woke up in a sweat, again. This now was an ongoing thing.

Every morning he woke up sweating and panting the images going through his mind more dream intense and horrifying then the previous one.

They had started happening the night Blair said goodby and left.

He shook silently, he still could see that night like was there and it just kept repeating over and over

again.

The first dream was of Nate and Blair. It was their wedding and Nate had just told him over and over laughing of how much he had lost her.

Then there was another dream where Blair had just come back from seeing his uncle and he had told her

"I did what I had to, to win"

And then she started crying and all of the sudden a red spot started growing where her heart was and then it started getting bigger and bigger and then she just fell on the floor with tears streaming and the red spreading down her dress.

Before she just closed her eyes and her breathing stopped.

Gasping and trying to get hold of his breath, he fell back into his pillows turning his head back and forth before turning his head over to the pillow on the opposite side smelling the cheap perfume that belonged to the slut the night before.

He tossed his head again; last night and almost every night he went to the bar and drank himself to oblivion until there was nothing left to drink

And of course take some girl back with him, a blond, redhead or Asian chick. But would stay away from the brunettes he didn't have luck with them.

Same fucking reputation and attitude he had had pretty much his entire life.

It was all back and now the lifestyle that used to bring numbness to the pain, just brought more pain and it now was killing him.

Those damn butterflies that used to flutter like the happy creatures they were, now just scraped his heart as if they had become shards of glass and a constant reminder that he was so F-ed up.

They reminded him constantly of his dam mistake. The mistake that cost him every fucking thing that was important to him.

"Wait" why the hell wasn't he happy, he had the empire hotel.

But then who gave a damn!

He certainly didn't he thought as he looked around the empty penthouse.

Emphasis on empty.

This stupid hotel cost him the one person that loved him with all of her heart and he just took a nice stomping to it. And his prize was a empty hotel.

YEAH!

Rolling out of bed he threw the covers off and walked around looking for another bottle of booze, noticing every bottle was already empty he thought to himself

why did he care, he was already hungover.

But he wasn't going to sit in this penthouse all day, and with that thought he went to his closet to find some cloths for the day. Probably go back to the bar.

Opening his closet and rummaging through his closet, something caught his eye and his breath.

Slowing gasping he brought out the smoked Grey color sweater and stared at the sleeve.

That little gold heart pin that had been sold into his sweater.

Staring at the pin he had coveted for so many years after seeing it given to his best friend, he let the tears fall and the memory come back.

__

Winter time was the best time of the year, Chuck had come to the conclusion when he woke up. 

_Glancing at the beautiful brown chocolate curls splayed across the pillow, and the curved up smile of his sleeping beauty._

_Blair rolled over and gazed up at her now awake boyfriend. _

_She still couldn't believe it._

_Chuck Bass, was her boyfriend. All hers and no one else s, who new that would ever happen. _

"_Good morning" she said softly staring into his eyes "Good morning love" he said as he buried his nose into her hair.._

_The snow was falling softly and Chuck had to admit Christmas in France was Beautiful. _

_Her father had invited them both to spend Christmas in France at the chateau. Because of all the dram that had happened at Thanksgiving in New York they had decided to go. _

_And it was an amazing idea, they had been staying for about a week and it was magical. Everything that Chuck Bass would of thought he would never do._

_Throwing snowballs at each other, making snow angles, going sling, and drinking coco. Going to Christmas party's and having a blast. _

_Somehow Blair's lips had latched on the weak part of his neck, and she had also maneuvered her way on top of his body laying on him like it was the most comfortable position in the world. And it looked like she had no plans for getting off anytime soon. _

"_Blair" chuck sighed, she was turning him on and his resistance was weakening,_

_they were with her father and his boyfriend, and the dad had a strict no sleeping in the same bed policy. And on Christmas morning was not a time he wanted to piss her father off. _

"_I bet Santa left some really nice presents, probably that really nice bag you wanted from the Kate Spade winter collection" Chuck said knowing his girlfriends weakness for presents. _

"_um huh" she mumbled "Wait Santa!" Really chuck, I know you don't even believe in Santa" _

_Blair laughed at her boyfriends attempts to get her off of him. _

"_okay you're right, I don't believe in Santa" "But I do believe in your father, and he will kill me if he finds us." chuck reasoned knowing that he had to get her off of him somehow. _

_And after a few more minutes of kissing Blair finally reasoned with him and got dressed to go downstairs. _

_After greeting her father and Roman they had breakfast, of pastry's, fresh fruit, and cocoa or coffee. _

_Going and sitting by the tree they looked at the stacks of presents, some brought from New York from their friends and after opening all the presents there were two left. _

_These two presents they had waited till the very end to open. Blair gasped as she opened the black Cartier box with amazement as she picked up the pearl necklace with a tear drop emerald hanging from the pearls. _

"_Chuck it's beautiful" she said as he helped her put it on "But it's no comparison to this" she gloated _

_as she handed Chuck his last present. _

_He undid the paper slowly as he pulled the Louis Vution box out of the paper, opening the box and bushing the tissue back he furrowed his brow. _

"_Blair it's a nice sweater" chuck said as he lifted out of the box "but clearly your present" he stopped as his eye caught something on the sleeve. _

"_Blair, is this..." he couldn't finish the words, he carefully guided his hands over the little gold pin now that was sowed on his sweater._

_He stared at the sweater and saw a wet spot that begin to form realizing that they were his own tears, he picked up the sweater and held it close. _

_Feeling soon a pair of arms wrap around him, he heard Blair whisper into his ear _

"_I love you Chuck Bass and you will always be the one that owns my heart"_

_Slipping the sweater over his head he turned around to pick up the beautiful creature in his arms and begin to twirl her around. _

Hearing ringing in the background snapped Chuck back to reality and out of the memory he was having. Walking over to where his phone was he pushed the phone to silent.

There was no way he was going back down to the bar there was to much sorrow that came with it and he would just drink himself until he ended up in the emergency room for alcoholic poising.

He threw on a jacket over his pajamas not really caring what his appearance was looking like. And dialed his limo driver.

He was going to go to try to talk to her. No matter what it would take there had to be a way to get past this. Walking out the suit ignoring the onlookers and walking out of the lobby to the main street. He got into his limo, and slammed the door shut.

"To the Waldorf penthouse he bit called out to the driver as he laid his head against the leather seats. Closing his eyes trying not to think about the memories that came with this limo.

Pulling up to the penthouse he tipped the doorman a twenty before walking inside and getting into the elevator.

_What are you even doing here_, his mind told him "I don't know it's not like she'll see me" he mumbled walking out of the elevator.

"Dorota" he called Blair surelyhad not told anybody what had happened, so to her happy maid they were a happy couple.

"_Yeah right"_

"Hello mister Chuck" the maid called to him. "Is Blair here?"

"She is, but not come out of room in a long time" "Not even to feed ducks, ma by you talk to her"

"Yes" Chuck said "I will"

Blair walked out into the foyer " Miss Blair, is here and I'm leaving errand for miss Eleanor" The maid waved cheerfully as she walked out.

Blair waved goodby to her faithful maid before turning her hate filled eyes to Chuck.

"What are you doing here!" she cried out, she couldn't believe he would come here not after everything it was all still emotional for her.

"I...I just wanted to talk to you." He said in a low voice, she was already angry.

"About what?" she snapped

He didn't know what to say, no presents or I'm sorry s were ever going to fix what had happened.

"Get out!" "There's no reason for you to be here"

" Blair.. please"

"Please!" "Please what there is nothing, and when I mean nothing I mean nothing you can ever say or do to change what you've done!" She screamed walking to her bedroom and slamming the door. She didn't want him to see her cry as her eyes welled up. She was not going to loose her dignity to.

Chuck stood there not knowing what to do, he had tried everything and nothing wasn't working. Chuck Bass did not beg, but then there were a lot of things he did when Blair Waldorf was in his life.

He walked over to her bedroom door and knocked. "Blair" he called.

"Go away" the voice replayed

"Please answer me!" he all but cried. His voice was breaking, his heart was breaking.

"I said leave!" You don't care about me!" she cried, the tears now unstoppable to contain.

He now was crying, he could feel her heat breaking and her pain oozing out of her and it now was tearing him up. _It's you're own fault_, the voice in his head told him. You're_ the reason she's crying!_

"What else can I do" he begged. Tears now running down his face, he cried now unstoppable fists banging against the door.

They were hurting more then ever. As he looked now at the door there were blood stanes on it, looking down at his fists he saw they were now bloody.

He slumped down the door falling to the floor, his head resting on the back of the door.

There was no way he was gong back to the empire now, it was a constant reminder of what he had lost.

Blair!

Curling up into a ball laying by the door, he cried himself to sleep feeling a little bit peaceful that at least she was behind the door.

The day slipped by quickly as he woke up again, hungry and achy, and miserable. He fell into sleep again the last thought on his mind.

He begin to see the price he had paid, and his uncle was right.

It was really all he had left.

Okay so that was my first story ever on fanfiction, please do not be harsh. I know it was not a happy ending but I was not feeling happy right then. So tell me what you thought.


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